Hey peeps.  Sorry i've been outta the loop this week - i've had a really busy time with one thing or another (I won't bore you with the details, i wouldn't want to write a "today i walked my dog" entry - R.R.)  Anyway, normal service will resume from today.  As some of you already know, my family are Buddhists, and i was reading over the Ten Precepts tonight, kinda the buddhist answer to the ten commandments, and i remembered how similar the essence is.  Although the Ten Precepts are presented as guidelines rather than orders, which i personally find more appealing, i remembered how much of a striking resemblance they bear.  It made me think about what it means to lead a good life, and how people often get caught up in the technicalities and intricacies of religion and often forget what the whole point of it all is:  to lead as good and meaningful life as possible.  People who follow a religion seriously are often looking for meaning in their lives, and are looking to be good people, whatever their individual take on that might be, but once in a while i think it pays to remember what it's all about:  Not who can and can't get married, not who is allowed to be a member of the clergy, not about the use or not of contraception, blah blah blah...religion should be about being the best person YOU can be.  I think its a dangerous game when people who are often less than perfect themselves start barking orders at the rest of the world.  I mean, honestly, there are so many religions floating about these days, how are any of us supposed to know what the right one is?  Its like trying to pin the tail on the donkey - you just lunge out where you think feels right and hope for the best.  I'm not sure what i believe, but for me, i think looking inward and living in a way that is good in my eyes is a good place to start.  If there is a guy upstairs, i hope thats good enough for him at the moment.  Anyway, here are the ten precepts for those of you who are interested, i kinda like them, even though i think it'd be DAMN hard to keep them all.  But then, who ever said being perfect was easy...

1.              I will be mindful and reverential with all life; I will not be violent nor will I kill.

2.             I will respect others property; I will not steal.

3.             I will be conscious and loving in my relationships, I will not give way to lust.

4.             I will honour honesty and truth; I will not deceive.

5.             I will exercise proper care of my body and mind; I will not be gluttonous nor abuse intoxicants.

6.             I will remember that silence is precious; I will not gossip nor engage in frivolous conversation.

7.             I will be humble; I will not praise myself and judge others.

8.             I will be grateful for my life; I will not covet, envy or be jealous.

9.             I will keep my mind always calm and at peace; I will not give way to anger.

10.          I will esteem the three treasures: Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. I will not defame them.

Just out of interest, let me know what you think, and if you could add a commandment/precept what would it be? 

The Weekend has Landed - almost a week late!

As promised, my wonderful little friends, here is a sample of what i got up to the weekend.  Tuesday night was also wicked, and was a HUGE blag all round, from getting onto the guest list for a club and getting for free, to getting into the VIP room where they were turning EVERYONE away - the drinks were super cheap and a famous British pop star/DJ was hanging out.  Mwah ha ha, i don't buy into this celebrity business, but when there's somewhere people tell me "You can't go in there" thats it i just have to get in.  It's almost like a challenge. Which i won!  Ha!  My blagging skills are becoming honed to a tee.  Ah!  Its Friday tomorrow too!  Time to do it all again!  YAY!  Anyway, here are the pics with captions explaining the significance of each, HOORAY FOR PARTYING!

This is me and Nat, the most wicked chick of all time.  My partner in crime who is not only an absolute partying legend but also the nicest person i've ever met.  I love her like a fat kid love cake.  Good old Fiddy, a ridiculous expression for every occasion.

This is Nat with a guy who we bestowed with the name "Right Hand Man" (who some of you who've known me for a while will have heard of).  Actually less pervy than it sounds - he dances ALL night, every week in a Michael Jackson influenced style with only his right hand - more or less.  I challenged Nat to get a picture with right hand man, where he had his right hand in the air.  Notice Nats hand also in the air for added effect.  Its not as high as it might be, but i think i'll give her a pass on this.  He's a crazy old man but we love him.  Additionally, a couple of weeks ago, we found out that R.H.M's real name is Neville.

This is me with my BOSS Sara.  What a legend.  This woman is always hammered and having a good time.  Her daughter is my age.  What a badass.  An example to all of us :)

Nat outside of the infamous Noodle Bar that we didn't go into.  Notice the frightened expression.  Well, i think its fear.  I'm not quite sure.  It could be anything.  In fact, if you can think of something she might be saying then leave it in a comment - i'll post it in a speech bubble into the picture the best one with my next entry.  If anyone can be arsed that is.   

Me wit me home boy Trevor - one of the many random mates i made that night.  He was a surfer, meaning he's outside in the sun a lot.  Can you tell?  Ha!  Bless him, he's such a cool guy.  He's also training to be a nurse - a surfer nurse.  What a wierd combination!

I guess thats all i can be bothered to scan.  You people have probably had enough of seeing my drunken mug anyway.  Ta ta for now.  I shall post a somewhat more meaningful entry over the next few days ( I have one in mind already), but i think its nice to break it up with a bit of lightheartedness now and again don't you think?  Look what i did there.  I made up a word.  I'm so clever, or is that stupid.  you know what, i'm not even sure if it IS a word or not and i'm too lazy to find out.  Eh, your guess is as good as mine. 

By the way, i just want to say how cool the people i've met on here are - you guys know who you are.   Such cool people.  I must admit, when i first started it up i was a bit dubious, but seriously, i've been really surprised by the amount of sorted people i've started talking to, and how many random shared interests i've discovered.  So, just showing my appreciation - LOVE YOU ALL!  MWAH! 

This can't be good...

I've just been hallucinating again.  Today its water on my screen, like waves or something.  I wish it meant something profound but i think its just because i went swimming.  I get hallucinations quite a bit.  I mean, sometimes its obviously my imagination but sometimes they actually look real - like that water thing.  It actually looks like i'm staring at the screen through a pool.  Another time it looked like i had blood on my hands.  It got me to thinking, about how the only  way you know that hallucinations are in fact hallucinations is because they stop at some point.  Its the same with dreams - unless you're a lucid dreamer that is (lucky bastards).  You only know it isn't real when you wake up.  It made me think about all the other illusions we might be under, and how we'd ever know if they were real or not.  Like life for example.  I know its an old philosophical chestnut (thank you for centuries of driving people insane Mr. Descartes) but lets go over it again because its a head fuck and you know how i like those...

When we dream, we often believe that its real.  If this is true, then how can we be sure that what we're experiencing now isn't some form of dream?

Try thinking about that for five minutes without going cross-eyed - its not as easy to poke holes in as you might think...  It kinda has the same effect as the old one about  "the sound of the one hand clapping", but then, that one stopped being screwy after that episode of The Simpsons right?  Anyway, i'm not saying i ACTUALLY think life is a dream, and don't even get me started on whether the answer to the question even matters or not, but i just like things that make us question the way we perceive our world, even if its just for a couple of seconds. 

This also links in with a little conversation about love i had with Rhymeless Reasonless and RandomChords, but before going into that, i'd just like to take a little survey...  Have you ever thought you've been in love, only to discover a few years/months/whatever down the line that you weren't really at all...I know i sure have, i used to say i "loved" people when i was at primary school etc.  Answers on a postcard, or failing that just leave a comment.  (insert 'i know that was a cheesy over-used line' smiley here) 

On a break from the rants kids...

My xanga had been neglected the last couple of days as a result of a STOMPING weekender.  It was great.  Fully restored my faith in the hilarity that can be gleaned from making friends with randoms.  It was indeed, a weekend of total randomness.  Friday night was AMAZING, i went to see 2 wicked DJ's, Eddie Halliwell who's scratching was just grrr (and who is also PHWOAR AS YOU LIKE - yes i did talk to him too ha!) and Mark EG who is just a legendary underground hard house nutcase who is always completely out of his tree, BITES RECORDS IN HALF and dancing like he's there to club not DJ!  I just danced infront of a speaker all night - my ears are still ringing now.  Spun poi a little bit and talked a bunch of crap to a load of people who were SKY HIGH.  It was hilarious. 

Saturday night began with Natasha and i deciding that we were going to become sophisticated and go to this NOODLE BAR.  Pah.  Safe to say that didn't last long.  We ended up getting scared because it looked like it was full of "TRENDY YUPPIE" types so we just ran past the door like a pair of idiots!  We both still believe we're 12 not 20, and aren't old/mature enough for places like that!  I guess from our reaction we aren't.  Hah!  I knew it. 

 Anyway..... we ended up going to Bunters bar and then going clubbing and hanging out with these random guys who i sort of know from going out but not really who were on a STAG NIGHT, kept bumping into people i knew, and well, it was just one of those nights where by the end we knew everyone and everyone knew us.  It was a right laugh - i really needed it too.  Luckily we had cameras with us which took photos of the event so i'll get them processed tomorrow and have them on here in a FLASH! 

So for the abridged version:  had a wicked weekend.  Saw 2 amazing legendary DJ's (1 off the hook, 1 off his trolley) Talked to randoms, avoided trendies.  See the photo diary in the next couple of days.  Nice one bruv.

A photo today again by my talented little sister, which reflects my mood...

Today i recieved some pretty funny/nasty comments from people i don't know. 

                                   Wow, you need to shut the fuck up                                                       Posted 7/21/2004 at 11:10 PM by finio - delete - block user

At first i just thought it was because they didn't like what i had written, but apparently these people find it funny to be rude to people!  Amazingly though, this isn't the topic of my xanga today.  Believe it or not, I have a degree of admiration for these people.  At least they say what they think, and you know where you are with them - you know right from the outset that they are thoughtless and immature.  What i have a problem with is...

People who aren't straight up

What i mean by this is, people who are two faced, people who say things indirectly when you know full well they're really aimed at you, people who have a problem with you but choose to take it up with people you know instead of you...etc - get the picture?

Now, a little white lie here and there is all well and good - we all know we've told someone we know that we like their new haircut when we're not quite sure, its the big stuff i have a problem with.  The issue is, if we're never honest about the way we feel about our friends/family/partners/aquaintences, how in the hell are we supposed to know where we are with anyone?!

People being two faced can be one of the worst experiences when it comes to problems with relationships.  I for example, had to put up with a few people who i considered to be in my group of best friends, deciding that on my 18th birthday they were not only going to not show up at my birthday dinner, but then take the opportunity to ring me and the people who had bothered to show up, calling us bitches and hanging up.  I mean, i can understand being pleasant to people you don't like but don't know very well if you have no intention of getting to know them better, but hanging out with someone and being nice to someone you don't like seems like a royal waste of time.  Especially if you then turn around and be rude about them when you knew you didn't like them in the first place.  You get it in romantic relationships too.  In my eyes, if you don't like someone, you break it off.  You don't continue the relationship pretending you're still in love.  You know, to this day, i still have no idea why they made such a 180.  I can honestly say i can think of nothing i might have actually done, which leads me nicely onto my next point -  these people had obviously discussed their dislike for me with eachother, so why not with me?

Surely if someone you know is is irritating you, the best way to rectify the situation is to talk it through with them.  That or you just remove yourself from their company.  Discussing it with others is only going to either add fuel to the fire, get back to the person who you've been talking about, or pull people into the conflict that really don't deserve to be there.  An example here, is if you got in on with someone who had a boyfriend/girlfriend, and then the said boyfriend/girlfriend had a go at one of your friends.  Train wreck ensues.  You know what i'm saying.  It just makes it bigger than it needs to be.

As for the saying things indirectly when you know they're aimed at you...  I'll explain using the example of xanga.  People sometimes make these big sweeping generalisations about life and their feelings, likes and dislikes and you know full well they're having a dig at you.  I think sometimes people do it to come off as wise and above the situation, and sometimes they do it because they're afraid of the backlash if they say what they really think to the person they think it about.  If you're not sure what i mean here, then i'll give you a basic example... 

If i wrote on my xanga that i really like gherkins, and then someone i know posted something on their own site, saying that people who like gherkins make them want to barf. 

You know that the comment is directed at you, and what they should be doing is leaving you a message saying "The fact that you like gherkins makes me want to barf".  Looking over that i realise its a bit of a bad example, but i'm sure you get the idea - you get it in plenty of other situations too.  I guess what i'm concluding (rather inarticulately and longwindedly) in essence, is that saying what you really think to people commands and deserves a lot of respect, even if the person you say it to doesn't agree.  Direct communication with people allows at least the possibility of a resolution to the problem, even if you don't think its possible. 

Bloody hell, that was a right old rant.  Ha ha.  Oh and heres another one of those pics...